I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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