Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
