I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
