Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
