I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
