just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just high enough for therapy.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i now understand why vodka
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
