So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
are you so shy because you have an std?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Is Oprah even human
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
