i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
