I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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