I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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