the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
