Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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