Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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