She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
PANTIES FOUND
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize