I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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