Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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