do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
