you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
