We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
