that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
