We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
