oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
