can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
