I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
