There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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