I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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