38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
