I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize