My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
