My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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