if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
