hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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