Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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