Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
