I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
