what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Pooping to opera.
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