She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
