Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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