Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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