i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
