I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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