This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
