you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
