I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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