I met the friendliest cop last night
I think I am morally bankrupt
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
