she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
