chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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