I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize