I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
