were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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