Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
