just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
