I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
