so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
