need another drink. this is the easiest way
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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