Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
