I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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