good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
