New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
