just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
