i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
