This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
