she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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