C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
